The Leader is my shepherd, I shall not starve
He maketh me sit down in powder blue tuxedos
He leadeth me beside shrill vocalists
He restoreth my wallet
He leadeth me in dance halls of gratuitousness
For his names sake
Yea, though I walk through the kitchen or the back hallway
I will fear no evil
For thou art paying me
Thy baton and thy charts they showcase me
Thou preparest a chair for me in the presence of mine audience
Thou countest off my chart with vigor
My beer spilleth over
Surely Goodman and Miller shall follow me all the days of my life
And I shall dwell in the house of Band forever
Blessed are the poor in cash, for theirs is the wedding gig
Blessed are those who blow changes, for they shall be soloists
Blessed are the sight readers, for they shall inherit the section parts
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for dinner on the break, for they shall be satisfied
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall never play an accordion
Blessed are the pure in tempo, for they shall be drummers
Blessed are the bass players, for they shall be bored
Blessed are those who are persecuted for the sake of playing “In The Mood” one more time, for theirs is the kingdom of Mortgage payments
Blessed are you when men revile and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my bandstand
Rejoice and be glad for your reward is great at the end of the night
For also did men persecute the trombonists who were before you.